Live from The Twilight Zone

As often happens, lately, I was awakened from a blissful evening nap tonight by the sound of Don Cheetolini making a pronouncement. Tonight’s pronouncement was his choice for the Supreme Court, and the television was on CBS (my least favorite news source—next to FOX).

Putting aside Cheetolini’s grandiose “God Bless our Glorious Nation,” at the end of his screechy introduction of Judge Gorsuch, the canned applause as Cheetolini and company exited the stage, and the glare of a room full of old white men gathered together for the pronouncement, it wasn’t the news preener Scott Pelley who made me want to put my hands over my ears. No, that honor goes to Major Garrett.

And, as usual, I was unable to pull up the exact footage for your consideration. So, to the best of my ability—and memory, here is the exchange:

Preening Scott Pelley: “And now, for reaction, here’s Major Garrett. Major?”

Major Garrett (looking decidedly like the proverbial deer in headlights): “I’m standing here in the second row of the East Wing, where Senator Mitch McConnell has pulled off the most audacious political gamble in history! McConnell’s audacious gamble was holding off on the Supreme Court nomination until there was a Republican president in the White House—and he did! President Trump has nominated Judge Gorsuch….”

Wait a minute, I screamed. Did Major Garrett just show his true colors??? On national TV??? And did he just desecrate President Obama’s “audacity” as if he was adding the icing to the cake?

He may as well have given the “Salute” to Cheetolini.


Sorry…. I’ve got to go find a barf bag. After which, I’ve got to find the nearest #Resistance office and sign up for active duty.


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